and i got ready and went out tonight for an hour of hell. i hate going out on this ship. i always give it another chance, and, alas, it never gets better. now my hair is sticky, and i have to wash it tomorrow, thanks club twenty. foiled again.

it's late, i should be asleep now. whatever.

i'm done making this something one would read and think, this kid rules. 'putting up a front' if you will. i couldn't care less if you read this and think i'm awesome, i also couldn't care less if you read it all together. it's somewhat lame of me to have one of these if you ask me. typing all of my 'teenage feelings' down to put on a website for all of the world to read and think, this kid rules, or this kid is a joke. i guess this is a tool for me to use, and write down, and think about. to tell the truth, i'm a little in awe that i would do something to shallow. i'm a loser.

anyway. i'm done leaving my readers hanging. so, here is what i was going to write before, but decided i didn't feel like writing it down. (please read above)

these last two weeks have been very bittersweet, for only one reason really. i miss someone. close to the most i've ever missed anyone in my life. god, he's the closest to perfect i've ever been. the feelings i have right now are almost indescribable. i can sure try though, without sounding as retarded as possible. i wish that i could talk to him every hour of every day. i would never get bored. he is so inviting. so revolutionary to anything i've ever witnessed in a man before. he's happy, he's friendly, he's silly. what i would find annoying or embarrassing about another person, i find so lovable about him. i don't have to try in front of him. sometimes i wonder what to say, but with him, i just say it. i don't second guess myself, or at least i try not to. i try to make good impressions on him, i think i'm doing a good job. it's a bit too soon to say, but right now, he's what i care about most, next to the family i have. i'm a weird-o. go ahead and tell me. but i know what i feel and what i feel feels right. so that is what i'm going to go with, and not have to worry about it. i like that.

life is as close to good as it can be far away from friends, family, and the boy you can't get off my mind. i'm okay with my life as of now. minus what i have written above (i.e. far away from friends, family and the boy i can't get off my mind). i like how i feel, most of the time.

i won't talk, i won't breathe, i won't move till you finally see that you belong with me. you might think I don't look, but deep inside the corner of my mind i'm attached to you. i'm weak, it's true; cause I'm afraid to know the answer. do you want me too..? cause my heart keeps falling faster. i've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing that's true. so I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you. all my life i've waited. this is true.. you don't know what you do everytime you walk into the room, i'm afraid to move. i'm weak, it's true. i'm just scared to know the ending. do you see me too..? do you even know you met me..? i've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing thats true. so I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you. all my life i've waited. this is true.. i know when i go i'll be on my way to you. the way that's true.. i've waited all my life to cross this line to the only thing thats true. so I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you. all my life i've waited.. this is true.

i'm obsessive. it's a proven fact. proven by myself, not by any other person. it's weird. i'm a freak..
enough about me. let's get on to why i started my post as such:

nevermind. i'm over this blog entry. i'm leaving you hanging.


hahah

ohhh boy! this is going to be a short one, i have rehearsal in fifteen minutes.

i met a boy, his name is brad, and my life is good. i'm happy. people have been getting fired left and right from last week. and i don't want to get fired. or drug tested. that's just awkward.

okay. the end.


i told you it would be short.